People usually land on a page like this in the quiet hours after a pet has died, or in the days when the house feels unfamiliar. They’re trying to work out whether what they’re feeling is “normal”, how to get through the next week, and what to say when others don’t quite understand.
Grief after a pet’s death can be intense and disorienting, especially when routines still echo in the background: an empty food bowl, a lead by the door, the absence of a familiar weight on the bed. This guide sets out what pet-loss grief can look like, how it can differ from other bereavements, and the small, practical ways people often steady themselves again—without rushing the process.
The bond between humans and pets
Why the relationship can feel so strong
A companion animal shares the most ordinary parts of a life. Meals. Morning alarms. The walk that happens even when you don’t feel like it. Over time, those repeated moments build a bond that feels sturdy and constant. When that animal dies, it isn’t just the loss of a pet; it’s the loss of a daily presence that shaped the rhythm of your home.1
How pets become part of the family landscape
Many people organise their day around an animal’s needs—feeding times, medication, exercise, vet visits, the small checks you do without thinking. Pets also end up threaded through family stories and photos, and they often become a source of comfort during difficult stretches. That woven-in place is one reason their absence can feel so large.1
What grief after pet loss can look like
Common reactions (and why they can change day to day)
Pet-loss grief can include shock, numbness, sadness, anger, guilt, relief (particularly after a long illness), and moments of feeling oddly “fine” before the wave returns. People may find themselves listening for familiar sounds, expecting to see their pet in a usual spot, or reaching automatically for a routine that no longer applies.2, 3
Grief is rarely tidy. Stage-based descriptions can be useful as a rough map, but real bereavement often loops and doubles back, especially around firsts—first weekend, first holiday, first time you walk past the park alone.3
How pet-loss grief can differ from other bereavements
One of the hardest parts is that pet loss is sometimes minimised by others. If the people around you don’t recognise the depth of the bond, you can end up grieving in private, or feeling you need to “get over it” quickly. That mismatch—big feelings, small acknowledgement—can intensify loneliness.1, 2
Coping strategies that tend to help
Start with the basics: steadiness before answers
In early grief, it can help to think less about “moving on” and more about getting through the day without extra injury. Small acts of care are not a betrayal of your bond; they are how the nervous system finds its footing again.1
- Keep eating something, even if it’s simple.
- Sleep where you can (naps count).
- Move your body gently: a short walk, a stretch, time outside.
- Say the loss out loud to one safe person, or write it down.
Make room for the feelings instead of arguing with them
Trying to suppress grief often makes it louder later. Allowing the feelings—crying, remembering, talking—can reduce the pressure. There’s no correct timetable, and there’s no single “right” way to mourn a pet.2, 3
Guilt and “if only” thoughts
Guilt is common after a pet dies, particularly around euthanasia decisions, medical choices, finances, or not noticing illness sooner. If your mind keeps replaying decisions, it can help to return to the simplest truth: most people act with the best information, resources, and capacity they had at the time.3
Seeking support (when grief feels too heavy to carry alone)
Support groups and counselling
Talking with someone who understands grief can take the edge off isolation. Some people prefer one-to-one counselling; others find comfort in peer support where pet loss is treated as real bereavement, not a footnote.4, 5
When to get extra help urgently
If you’re feeling unsafe, thinking about harming yourself, or you can’t get through the day, seek urgent support. In Australia, call emergency services on 000, or contact Lifeline (13 11 14). Beyond Blue also lists urgent support options and pathways to help.6, 7
Memorialising your pet
Simple ways to honour a companion animal
Memorials don’t need to be elaborate. They work best when they match the life you shared.
- Plant something living (a tree, a pot plant, a small garden corner).
- Make a photo album or short printed book.
- Write a letter to your pet: what you loved, what you miss, what you’re grateful for.
- Create a small home space with a collar tag, a favourite toy, or a framed photo.
Why rituals can be calming
Marking the loss—privately or with others—helps the brain register what has happened. It can also give love somewhere to go, when the daily care-taking has suddenly stopped.1, 3
When (and whether) to get another pet
Questions worth asking before you decide
A new animal can bring warmth back into a quiet home, but it won’t replace the pet you lost—and it shouldn’t have to. Readiness is usually less about a certain number of weeks, and more about what you’re expecting a new pet to do for you.3
- Can you think about your pet with tenderness as well as pain?
- Are you choosing a new pet for companionship, not as an emergency fix?
- Do you have the time, money, and emotional bandwidth for training, vet care, and adjustment?
- If you have other pets, how might they cope with a new animal in the home?
If you’re unsure, borrow time
Some people find it helps to foster, pet-sit for a friend, or volunteer with an animal shelter first. It’s a way to be near animals again without forcing a permanent decision too soon.
Final thoughts
Pet-loss grief is real grief. It moves at its own pace, and it often arrives in ordinary moments—when you reach for a habit and remember there’s no-one to meet it. With support, care for the body, and a few steady rituals of remembrance, the sharpness usually softens. What remains is the shape of a relationship that mattered.
References
- SAMHSA (AVMA) — Pet Loss and Grief
- SAMHSA (AVMF) — When Your Animal Dies: Understanding Your Feelings of Loss
- American Psychological Association — Grief
- Griefline — Nationwide Telephone Support (Helpline)
- NALAG — Pet Loss Grief Support
- Beyond Blue — Urgent help
- Lifeline Australia — Crisis support
- Griefline — Contact us
- Lifeline (Service Directory) — Beyond Blue